The Ging’Grinch’ That Stole Christmas
By Scott Rohter
‘Twas the Newt before Christmas and all through the House
Eager to know who’s up in the polls
Who’d win Iowa and New Hampshire before the first snows.
Eager Republicans line up in a row
While vying for office and spending much of their dough
While conservatives were hanging all of their hopes
On the dubious premise that voters were more than mere dopes!
Now pundits in the media did conjecture and boast
That voter apathy was likely over for most
M. Bachmann, Perry, Santorum and Paul
Were four free marketers who’d make life better for all.
But the powers that be had a different plan
They were throwing their weight behind a Newt kind of man
Some claimed it was Romney, but I knew the truth
It was the Ging’Grinch’ that stole Christmas. I’ll bet my eyetooth!
Democrat incumbents were running around in the night
Worried their pet House cat was getting ready to bite
Scurrying about like scared little mice
Afraid that the voters were not going to be nice.
Meanwhile in Washington Congress was meeting at night
Driving spending Bills forward with no debt end in sight
Traveling down that long, winding road
That leads only to ruin, Austrian economics has showed.
Our country keeps waiting. The future is in doubt
We need honest leaders to help us find our way out
Of the financial disaster we got ourselves in
By trusting politicians who sold us just spin.
The Republic is waiting, America’s future is in the balance
We need men and women with the right skill and talents
Who will win the Caucus in the Hawkeye State?
Can a conservative win New Hampshire or is that already too late?
Now all the candidates are hopeful tonight. Their campaigns are ready to go
Persuade Iowa voters, and if by chance oh,
I could just convince them to beware of Big Gov
And move our great Nation with just a small shove.